Anastasia's Closet

Monday, October 03, 2005


I don't think I want to bore even myself with the details of what is going on with me. I get so sick of thinking about everything and just waiting for it all to go away. I want to bury my head in the sand like a..... Isn't there some sort of animal that does that? turtle? What am I so sick of, without getting into the fine points? I am tired of feeling (whether justified or not) that everything is more important than I am. I am tired of feeling alone. I am sick of feeling ignored. I am sick of being yelled at for expressing how I feel. I am so understanding and so patient - I do think that others in my position might simply run away - hmmm, the things we do for love, i guess.
i think i just want that period of time when you first start dating someone or first fall in love where everything is just great- nobody has flaws and nothing is ever wrong. We really haven't had that in this relationship. There has been so much stress in so many ways . . .. . . yet, I'm still happy and I'm still in love with him. Hmm - that does mean something, doesn't it? I just hope that we don't miss out on that time completely.